Tuesday, 7 July 2009

The new designer drug Carbohydrates

Yes! You heard right the first time Carbohydrates is the new designer drug and yes it is what we eat with almost every meal. Recently there has been a rise in the population on the Atkins diet and anybody who is anyone is going on these low carb or carb free diets. It is chic to be tucking into large protein meals and refusing the side dish of carbohydrates. I am not normally into these fad diets but I had joined a health club and to start of with you go on a no carbohydrate diet for a week to kick start your metabolism. They had warned me that I would go through carbohydrate withdrawal and I would be nauseous, head achy and lethargic. When the lady was telling me this I was thinking withdrawal I don't think so, it is not like I have to enter rehab to stop eating carbohydrates. Well how wrong I was. The first two days were ok but the third day I was so tired and had a whopping headache and felt queasy, I was even breaking into sweats and shaking a little. If I hadn't gone through it myself there is no way that I thought this could be true. I was unwell with an ear infection not long before that so I thought it was just an extension of my illness. Although on the fifth day I succumbed to a vegetable croquette that was at a meeting I had attended within 15 minutes I was on a high and felt so much better. That is when I realised that yes I was going through withdrawal just like a junkie would on heroin.

I just hope that the powers at be don't get a inkling of this who knows what the future may hold. The mafia would be forgoing there strip clubs for bakeries. Could you imagine Tony Soprano closing business deals over scrolls and pull aparts instead of women pole dancing. Carbohydrate junkies will have to go to dodgy badly lit alleyways to pay $50 for a piece of bread. There would have to be an amnesty on bread makers so you can't make it at home and sell it on a street corner at an over inflated prices. The whole Italian cuisine market would have to go underground. History would repeat itself because over 200 years ago most of the convicts that were sent to Australia were there because of stealing bread. Even back then it was a highly addictive but if caught now where would they send people to, some outer lying island in the pacific ocean perhaps?

In the meantime though we can still have the joy of eating sandwichs, scrolls and pasta without committing a major felony. Thankfully for me it was only for a week and I can now eat carbohydrates enjoy that high that only carbohydrates can give.


  1. You can't snort carbohydrates :)

  2. Oh but Carboyhdrates are my friend